Thoughts of a Working Man

In the weeks and months after I lost that job I liked so much, I had this recurring dream that they called me, apologized, and offered me my old job back. In the dreams, my responses varied. At first, I was too hurt to take it back. That attitude soon changed to one of negotiating terms such that I wouldn't be taken by surprise again. One thing remained, though, and it remains to this day; I'd go back there if I could.

That sounds stupid at first take. For one thing, the place I'd be going back to would be changed. Most, but not all, of my friends were in the layoff. And, from what I've heard from my friends who are still there, the layoffs, particularly the way they were handled, were a shock and source of mourning to those who were spared. So the workplace and the people have changed a lot.

I've changed, too. I used to pour my heart into my work. The documents and web sites I created were an expression of me as much as they were of the work. Perhaps I even got a bit proprietary about it all.

Since that job ended, in both the previous position and in my current one, I don't allow myself to get too attached to anything or anyone. Eventually, they'll let me go. Even if they offer me a permanent position, I'll still believe that I'll be let go before I can retire. And I'll still keep an emotional distance from the others.

# posted by Tom @ 11:43 AM