Thoughts of a Working Man

First, I'm glad I don't report to this manager. He's a nice enough guy in casual conversation, but on a project he's a bully. I can't think of any other word for it. I sat in a meeting today and watched him bully my technical expert about a document we are writing together.

I've had a chance to observe this manager as we've worked together these past couple of weeks, and I don't like what I see. He withholds information until the last possible instance. He reviews documents like he's conducting an inquisition. He almost never has anything positive to say, but he has plenty to say in an accusative way that implies that he feels he's surrounded by incompetent drones.

Were I not a civilized human being, I would pop him one. (Okay, I'm not terribly civilized, but I can control my temper. I'm learning.)

My next reaction is to want to confront him about his behavior. But I'm realizing that doesn't really work for me with people. Others don't seem to see their behavior from the outside. They want to defend and justify, and I have responded in the past by pressing my attacks and making them look bad even as they defend themselves. Needless to say, making a manager look bad--making anyone look bad, really--doesn't work for me. Eventually, I end up losing.

Right now, I concentrate on letting his criticisms of me slide off. That's actually getting easier. I consider the source and reject the personal stuff and the stuff that implies I'm incompetent. It's actually harder for me to let abuse given to others in my presence slide. Bullies love to intimidate, and they love to do it in front of others. I really hate giving them an audience.

All this is leading up to a question for anyone who may be reading this. How do you deal with a bully in the workplace, especially when the bully is a manager? I've long felt that bullies have to be confronted. At the same time, I'd rather be working than starving, and as long as I'm working here, I don't need a manager for an enemy.

So, if anyone out there has ideas they'd be willing to share, post them here. I'd love to learn some new people skills.

Thank God it's Friday!

# posted by Tom @ 3:50 PM